Part 2

I got $20, a new wallet, a VCR, and new cd's (Nine Inch Nails - The Fragile, Radiohead's The Bends and OK Computer).

I'm writing this all bloody. Did I mention that I've managed to fuck up a couple friend ships by being all confused.

 I mean hey, a new fucking VCR and money and CD's are great but the best present of all was hearing from her. She made my day from a few miles away. She probably won't read this. If she does she's obviously smart enough to know its her. Thank you for all the Happy Birthdays although this was the worst one of all.

She didn't think I like her and that's why she said she couldn't picture us as a couple. I straightened that out. 

Then there's spankings... well those two... they could be problems. Options=problems. I feel sorry for bisexuals. Well sorta.

Either that or a blowjob would be nice. 

My hair did not streak with blue very well. I changed my mind and dyed the top blue and left the sides Barbie blond. That looked like I was wearing a blue toupe. I dyed my whole head blue... much better.

Fuck, I keep getting older. I need a job, need a car, need a drug, need a friend, need to bleed, need to mend, need a mom, need a dad, need some help, cause I'm mad.

Check This Out:

Pretty fucking cool - some kewl shockwave cartoon.

Don't Touch Me - The most meaningless song ever. Might be funny though...

I want to start making a new kind of music that uses only weird ass instruments like glass, metal and other weird objects. I'd also like to see a bunch of people with down syndrome be in porn films. That'd be cool to see someone who's mentally disabled have sex with another mentally disabled person, or with farm animals. LOL

I can't stand some people for more than 10 minutes. You'll know you're one of them if I scream at you and then walk away. 

Gay people are cool. I've been chatting with a 32 year old homosexual man about questions I've always wanted to ask a homosexual. Some of the things I've been asking him are things like, "Do you ever have to deal with sexual harassment in the work place?", "Do your colleagues think less of you because of your sexual preference, and "Do you eat chocolate pudding after gay sex?" 

My eyes are all dried and sticky. I should sell them tomorrow. That seems to be the only thing people find nice about me and therefore is the only thing that is probably worth any money. 

So I'm putting blue streaks in the Barbie blonde hair of mine. My mom hates doing it but she knows I'll make a horrible mess if she doesn't help me. 

Bleh. Bands I like as of now are Garbage and the old Bush.

Check This Out:

I don't know what this is.

Earlier today I was adding memories to my somewhat pathetic version of a photo album. I came into another one of those little epiphanies. You see, through out my life I keep on running into these incredibly beautiful and smart women who are not cheerleaders or something, they're just normal with some extra benefits. It was in grade 5 that I met the first one, Diva Gould or as I would see it "The Golden Diva". She was totally interesting, into drama, and always had something interesting to say. She was also a year older and shrugged me off whenever I approached her. Actually I think I repulsed her. I will try and get some pictures of me from the 5th grade up asap. I was a typical geek (still am). She graduated and then I started to talk to her a year later when I started going to the same high school. We were friends because we were in the same Theatre Sports Troup. Lol. I joined because I saw she was into it. So anyways I ended up asking her out again and again the rejection came. I see why I hated grade 8 so damn much. My love life was a complete failure in grade 8. I got pictures of that too. 

Pretty much there have been a set of Diva's that I have been pursuing ever since grade 8. I mean they had different personalities but they all had no interest in me. Basically, I'm not that much of an attractive man. So there has been at least 3-5 Diva's and I still don't know why they all reject me. It's like every crush I've had on a girl has just been a twisted version of that first one. Maybe someone one day can help me understand why this keeps happening to me. 

I'm going to post a picture of me from every grade pretty soon. I'm sure you'll all have a good laugh. I know I did the last time I saw it.

Nothing to check out really. Sorry been busy with CAPP projects.

Top 5 movies of all time:
High Fidelity (John Cusack)
Forest Gump (Tom Hanks)
The Shawshank Redemption (Mogan Freeman)
Fight Club (Brad Pitt)
Rambo (Sylvester Stallone)

Top 5 songs of all time:
Everybody Hurts - Rem
Today I hate everyone - The Killjoys
Popular - Nada Surf
Thirty Three - The Smashing Pumpkins
Creep - Radiohead

Top 5 albumns:
Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness - The Smashing Pumpkins
The Bends - Radiohead
Up To Here - The Tragically Hip
The Downward Spiral - Nine Inch Nails
Breakfast in America - SuperTramp

Oh my god. You're just some sort of fake tease type thing. You're all show, just some poor horny 16 year old boy's fantasy. You're not real. Real girls wear cotton panties that have been through the wash about a hundred million times. You can be someone else's play thing. I was watching a movie called High Fidelity starring John Cusac. It was a really awesome movie. It was like a weird sort of view into the future for me but it took place in the past which makes absolutely no sense at all. But it did. That bitch can take all of her gonch and weird little retarded mind games and stick em up her ass. As for my friend that actually participates in this retarded game of mind fucking and flirtation... well... you're only human I guess. I should really get over her because it wasn't really anything at all. It was just some stupid sick joke. It takes time for me to accept that weird sense of rejection I have so if she can't understand why I feel like throwing my applesauce/pudding at her than oh well. It's like she used to talk and it seemed like she was making sense. Now I realize she's spurting bullshit, doesn't let anyone have their word, is a megalomaniac as well as egotistical fuck head. She just won't shut up and she thinks she's all intelligent cause she reads up on sociology and shit. That doesn't make her special, it just proves she's over analytical and confused. THAT FUCKING BITCH! AGHAHGHAHHAGHAHGHAH!!!! I HOPE YOU FIND SOMEONE AS FAKE AND PLASTIC AS YOURSELF YOU EGOTISTICAL BITCH! I HOPE YOU GET ALL THAT LACY GONCH OUTTA YOUR ASS! THAT WAY YOU MIGHT NOT BE SO GOD DAMNED UP TIGHT! FUCK!

AGH! MY WORDS ARE ON FIRE! EPIPHANY BITCH! THIS IS SOME BIG EXPLOSIVE FUCKING EPIPHANY!

Death by Distortion is a really kick ass band. I might try out for singer because I'm alright at screaming things at large amounts of people in a psychotic haze. 

My net is so fucking slow. Like 0.1kB/sec. My mom wonders why I'm on so late so I tell her I need more speed. She's considering it.

And as for Angela, well, fuck she wears cotton panies probably. Thank god. I don't even care if they're black. Sex is pissing me off and so is my fucking penis (contradiction). But hey I guess I'll just have to ask if she wants to take it slow or whatever. She isn't just boobies, she's really an awesome person.

01/18/01

"Why don't you take it all off?"

=8P

I had the most bizarre conversation with my friend Sean today. He was wondering what it would be like to switch the placement pf your index finger with your penis/vagina. I think I'll start doing comics on that. Lol

Can someone give me a reason to start doing my homework again? Like some kind of motivation? 

I spray painted my skateboard blue. It looks pretty cool. I went and tried to skate in the bowl at the Confed skate park. I ended up with my hands ful of glass that had been broken on the bottom of the bowl.

"No mom, he's saying "We're the renegades of funk" not "the renegades of fuck." Lol

I was playing with these old russian guy's minds. I pretend to strip online and they totally freak out!

I'll post some of the msgs tomorrow.

Check This Out:

Poppn' Fresh Porn! (1 - 2) - I got bored so I made some poppn' fresh pornography. This is some funny shit.

01/17/01

"thermal humpings"

YAY!!! "The Cam" IS LIVE FROM 4-6 PM and 9-whenever PM PT!!!

Every time I go boxing I have to take out my piercing. Every time I come home I have to stretch the hole back to normal. Every time I do this it hurts more because the hole is smaller. I think I'm becoming content. Maybe my hole going away is symbolic for me changing or something. I'm afraid that I won't be the sad, crazy, and loveable/hateable guy I am now. I don't want to become some jock norm. Dear god. The upside of this is I got to punch someone in the face today. The downside is that I got the wind knocked out of me while I was throwing my right. I had to forfeit the sparring match. Oh well.

So I joined this new webcam thing that lets me stream video. I could stream audio but that hogs too much bandwidth... especially on a 56k. lol

The downside is that my cam only works when I do.

Now all of you can watch me strip!

Check This Out:

SIC Fanclub - Um yeah

"Cookies and porn? You're the best mom ever!"

I realized that society is my strait jacket. I could be so much more human but I can't because of the impression things like tv, music, and other shit has left me with. God damn you all, god damn society.

I am just so frustrated. Spanish homework sucks. I think my penis is shrinking but mom tells me that can't happen. Maybe I over shot the last time I saw it... it seems smaller. Mom says it isn't how fast the car is, it's how the driver handles his stick when maneuvering.

My mom is the coolest, and the fucking weirdest. 

If you think I'm cool, you're wrong. Fuck I'm just some guy stumbling through whatever this pile of shit is and jotting down every pile of crap that I step in. That's a bad way to put it. lol

I wonder why feminists aren't all for men beating women, I mean after all women are allowed to slap, punch, knee, etc men. Lol equal rights... oh... that was just to make you all really pissed off. I'd never hit a woman... cept my sister.

I hope all the sunshine in my life would just shut the hell up or just fucking stop with the mood swings. urg.

I can't write good poems when I'm happy. For example:

You’re Wrong 

I think you think that I don’t like you,

Maybe I didn’t say much,

Maybe you kept cutting me off,

I think you think that you annoy me,

Maybe you liked to ramble on,

Maybe you lead me around on a leash,

I think that you’re wrong,

Even though women are always right,

I think that I’m just like you,

Except I have a lot less estrogen,

I think that we should see each other again,

I do believe that I really enjoyed running back,

To steal that kiss on the first date.

She thinks I'm sick because I strip for her while she has science. Lol. Sick bastard am I? 

Nothing worth writing here I don't think.

Check This Out:

OS8.* - This is a site someone sent me... um, its cool.

01/14/01

"Maybe she's a dyke."

"THE CAM" IS WORKING AGAIN. SO IS DARYL.

This new layout will probably be easier to load. Yay for you, yay for me.

Saturday was funny. Boy meets girl, boy gets in touch again with girl two years later, boy hangs out with girl, boy thinks girl is totally awesome, boy finds out he has come upon a smart, pretty, hot, sexy, funny girl that he would definitely like to see again.

So yeah. I redesigned my page because it was getting to the point where it took me 10 mins to load my old page. 

I don't remember what the fuck I was talking about when I came up with today's heading. It probably was something I said to someone because they couldn't figure out why a girl didn't like them. 

Supposedly I'm "cool". Yeah right. I don't know what people see when they pass me in the hall but from the looks I get it can't be that good. I'm not an idol. I'll give you some bad advice or and ear if you need it but don't try to be like me. I'm an example of what not to be when you grow up. I think.

Boy says goodbye, boy gets off skytrain, boy realizes he's an idiot, boy runs back onto the skytrain but on a different cart, boy waits till next stop, boy gets back on the cart of origin, girl says "what the hell?", boy kisses girl, girl and boy smile, boy goes back on home. 

Boy needs to get a good picture of the girl to put up. Hey, girl, can you give me some kind of pic next time I see you?

I cleaned up my skate today. The 3 of the bearings had exploded and all of them had rusted solid. It should be outlawed for people like me to skate. lol

I should clean my room. I'm tired. I don't think have all that much to say today. Sorry.

Check This Out:

DarylCam Wallpaper (34kB) - This is a motivational wallpaper of sorts... I think.

People like me shouldn't be allowed to skate.

01/11/01

"soon we'll all be gone"

Fuck the rest of you, I'll melt and remold myself. I'll swim and overcome the crashing waves below while all the rest of you lemmings drown. There is no "group". Fuck, I'm glad I just kinda drift around. You are destroying each other and your friends. I've seen this take shape before. Same idea different people.

I come home from school and call Kristina cause she's not all plastic and fake. Urgh. I hope something catastrophic happens and you all reveal the fact that you like that girl. And then I hope all of you learn to swim.

I'd rather be mind fucked by some preppy suburban chick than spend the rest of my time with you guys. 

Are friends in high school may build character but that's the only way they'll effect our life in the long run. Friends change after high school. People grow up. We can all try real hard to get along or you can do the Daryl thing and be both a friend and enemy to all the people around you which includes the jocks, the geeks, the other, the scary, the hairy, the teachers, and anyone else.

I dunno, bottom line is that you all should grow up. And its all bullshit about girls being more mature than guys. Steph, Jen, and who ever else gossip more than the business department teachers. Grow up and realize.

Oh, I got a new guestbook/message board for you to sign! Go ahead! Violate it!

Not much else to say or post. Camera's broken so yeah.

Everyone left out in the cold and feeling like a dried up used tampon. Ew.

01/10/01

"the most brilliant creative people in this world are those that are the most tormented."

Weirdo.

It took me an hour to put my piercing back in after boxing last night. First it fell down the drain so I had to do some plumbing... yay. Then the hole in my chin had shrunken so I had to stretch it back open with a dartboard dart. It worked though...

01/09/01

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so go out there, get wasted, and have the time of your life."

My ear didn't get infected. Yay. I have decided to do something new until i get my webcam or digital camera working again. I'm going to let people at school draw stuff in a sketch book of mine and then post it. There are things I want to write about but she won't let me. lol. She's pretty funny, she's pretty cool, she's pretty.

I'm going off to boxing tonight where I will get punched in the face repeatedly! Boxing is the only place you can releave tension on somebody else without feeling guilty afterwards. Did I mention it's painful?

I don't have much to write about, I also don't have alot of time right now... 2morrow I guess.

Check This Out:

Men with guns - This is just um, something.

Charms	Drugs
Human Piniata	I eat them by the handfuls.

01/08/01

"Doesn't that hurt?"

My life isn't so bad. I'm fed, clothed, educated, and admired sometimes. From what I've heard I'm reasonably good looking but I beg to differ on that point. I'm independent. I can do my dishes, laundry, and cooking. I get reasonably good grades. I have a couple of good friends that try to understand why I do what I do. They support me and look out for me to a certain extent. I guess all that talk about women really isn't necessary. I mean, they're actually pretty terrific. Here are a group of people that have managed to make me give them head. No guy I know could ever persuade me to give them because a) I'm not a homosexual [that's right mom!] and b) They have nothing to offer me in return.

The simple truth is that everyday I have to choose death over living. Death is certain and predictable to a certain extent. Someone once said "It's dying that's easy, but living is scary". I love the unpredictable. So have my ex girlfriends. Haha, some of them haven't though. 

Everyday I thank god for letting me live this life that I have to life. It doesn't matter that we might not get along with our parents, it does not matter that we hate the people at school because one day we will be paying taxes and most of the people in high school that we know now we won't keep in contact with after high school. It doesn't get better after high school, they say it's just different. Suicide will never be the way for me. Sadness fades. As long as there's pain, there will be happiness.

MMmmnnn. Much better.

Something about Peter Schlosser kk

Check This Out:

DarylCam Wallpaper (56kB) - Well this is like one of those moody wallpapers with alot of random writings on it. I'll make a happy one later.