My astrological sign says I'm full of love and that I'm exocentric. I guess that's true to a certain degree. I also tend to not let people in. What I mean is that sometimes people complain that they don't "get" me. I can understand that. I'm not your parents, I'm not like your other friends completely, I'm not like anyone you know. The only person that really knows me for who I am is my sister.  I don't know why I don't let people really get to know me. Maybe something traumatizing happened.

Well maybe I should let you get to know me. From what I hear from my sister and my mom I'm overly sensitive, caring, sweet, outgoing, intelligent, handsome (hahaha), and of course full of love.

On another note I hope to get a chainsaw and my learners permit in a few days. I figure its been a year and a half since I became legible for it.

I stopped my reading frenzy, I got a lot out of it though. I always seem to go back to listening to REM. I'll see you in heaven if you make the list.  Yeah yeah yeah. When someone loves you sometimes you just don't know what to think. When someone loves you it is the most impossibly marvelous feeling. I forgot my shirt at the waters edge. Night swimming deserves a quiet night.

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Advice (1, 2, 3 , 4) - Some naked chick from Yahoo! Messenger

My Aunt died last night which shortened my uncle's stay out here. He's from Alberta. Books to read: anything to do with the chaos theory, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, The Bible (for enlightenment or for a good laugh), Dracula, Behavioral patterns in mice, and anything to do with extinction. I'm reading 400 pg books in one day. It's fun. ew.

I found a purse to day, I kept the money as a finder's fee considering it belonged to someone who gives me dirty looks in the halls. Sweet fate. 

And in case none of you people that attend Alpha Secondary knew, the Air Band was rigged fully and completely, you are all chumps.

Anyways, things have been better.

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       "No, I'll tell you the problem with engineers and scientists. Scientists have an elaborate line of bullshit about how they are seeking to know the truth about nature. Which is true, but that's not what drives them. Nobody is driven by abstractions like 'seeking truth'.

"Scientists are actually preoccupied with accomplishment. So they are focused on whether they can do something. They never stop to ask if they should do something. They conveniently define such considerations as pointless. If they don't do it, someone else will. Discovery, they believe, is inevitable. So they just try to do it first. That's the game in science. Even pure scientific discovery is an aggressive, penetrative act. It takes big equipment, and it literally changes the world afterward. Particle accelerators scar the land and leave radioactive byproducts. Astronauts leave trash on the moon. There is always some proof that scientists were there, making their discoveries. Discovery is always a rape of the natural world. Always.

"The scientists want it that way. They have to stick their instruments in. They have to leave their mark. They can't just watch. They can't just appreciate. They can't just fit into the natural order. They have to make something unnatural happen. That is the scientist's job, and now we have whole societies hat try to be scientific."

Anyways that little part of the book made me think. There haven't really been any useful scientific advances in the last 400 years when we first adopted modern science. Sure we've discovered cars and nuclear energy and such but that has screwed us up more than it's helped us. 

We don't need science. Cave men used to work 20 hours a week and then used the rest of the week to their disposal. They survived and they fulfilled their basic needs. It was with the implementation of science, money, and advancement that brought us humans to what we truly are today. We are the parasites of ecology, life, and space. We are killing ourselves and everything around ourselves. 

Sure our atmosphere is dwindling away, sure the ozone is disappearing but did you know that ultraviolet rays allow for evolution of other species? Did you know that oxygen is a poison?

If we do screw up our air and all life on earth, If everything goes wrong and we are left with nothing, this planet will survive. This rock we're on has been around for billions of years, I'm sure it'd be able to survive us. If we do wipeout all life a new life will form from evolution. A change is near. Not within our time or our children's time but I bet within the next few millennia, this planet will evolve and like the dinosaurs that once roamed the earth, we too will be extinct.

Yawn, now I'm tired. But there is still more.

Some people find relationships a nuisance. And to a certain point yes they are. It is however impossible to not want to mate or procreate with the opposite sex. It's in our genes. So while we are able to avoid painful meaningless relationships, we cannot deny ourselves the urge to procreate. This includes women. What women don't know is that they seek the perfect man not for themselves but for their need to procreate and raise their children. You can all fool yourselves but you cannot fool your instincts or genetics.

Read Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton, its not just some book about prehistoric animals, its about science, reality, the world and much more. Really made me see things differently. If you have read it in the past, read it again, and one more thing, if you are going to read it, please don't skim through the pages.

That is all, bleh.

So I asked her friend what grade she's in. Yes, she is in grade nine. NOOOOO. Now one of her friends will come up to me within the next couple weeks and ask me if I like her. If I say yes than she'll just turn her other cheek. If I say no she may start to wonder why. Then some other immature grade niner shit will happen and then it'll get stupid and retarded. So no, I probably won't go for her. Probably. Besides, I was loitering in the halls and I glanced into the doorless girls washroom and she was there washing her hands. I stopped dumbfoundedly and then she looked up right at me. Bam. I just walked off. I mean I could've said something but SHE WAS IN THE WASHROOM CLEANING HER HANDS! I bet she thinks I'm a big petaphile pervert that likes to watch little girls wash their hands after getting out of the can. Oh well. I was thinking and there's this other girl I know that I'm starting to really like. I might just hookup with her. As for the grade niner... that wasn't a realistic goal, it was some kind of fantasy. It was just dumb. The other girl I know is sweet, pretty, funny, and I think she either likes me or loves me. I guess that's why guys look at other girls when they're out with their girlfriends sometimes. They see this beautiful girl who they probably have nothing in common with but it's still a fantasy. It's like chicks and romance novels, It's really fascinating at the time but deep down you know IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

On another note, I was down on the west end in Vancouver and I decided to steal from the rich and... and... give to me. Lol. Yeah I know it's senseless vandalism but hey, if they can afford to flaunt it, they can afford to replace it.

Sprinklers

Lawn lamp

This is a little problem that has plagued me for a while. There's this girl, she's hot, younger, and probably much more popular. Now if she were anyone else I would just start to talk to her. This is weird though, I mean because younger girls are all concerned about reputation and stuff. This means that if I did just go up to her and start talking to her she might ignore me or tell me to fuck off or just give me a dirty look. Hopefully she's somewhat intelligent, hopefully she'll be somewhat curious, hopefully she isn't shallow. I mean, I'm not hot or anything, actually I'm probably below average but if she's the type of girl that will only talk to let alone be interested in really hot guy... I'm in trouble. Now here's the cool little catch, I kinda talk to one of her friends. She's also got this little scar just along the softest least noticeable part of her jaw line. People with scars carry character, people with character are usually really nice or really interesting. If not for that scar I'd probably not be interested in her at all. This is weird I guess especially since she's in either grade 9 or 10. So if anyone has any advice, please post on my msg board or drop me a line.

Oh yeah, and my grandma told my older sister that she has nice hooterz. Lol.

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Threads - Wallpaper I made

Industrial Desert - Wallpaper I made

Cold Meat (Part 1 - Part 2) - The world is changing, and so are blow up dolls. If you ask me this is just wrong. 

So I'm skateboarding 2kM to school everyday now because the busses are on strike. I saw ads for a bunch of different churches. I broke in two. I believe people that don't believe in god or A god should consider the possibility but when billboards and bench adds are raping peoples minds and cramming religious quotes down their throats I find it be-letting to god. Frankly, I think he'd be pretty pissed off if he found out that his houses (houses of god) were selling out and using donated monies to put up ads. God should not be media. Media is filth. By putting god in an add that is a major dis. You're making my god dirty. What the fuck has this world come to? Isn't anything sacred or held untouched by the filth of our industrialized super sized stock market politically correct pornographic society we call life? 

This would've made me depressed but now I'm just energetically pissed off. Religious groups. God is better than that. I don't have a religious denomination, I have god. Just purely God. 

I warned you.

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DARYLCAM! - Got it working again.