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| 06/18/01 | "It's you and "Bubbles The Whale" smacking his penis on your face" | ||
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I
just feel weird today. There's no other way to explain it. I
just feel all fucked up.
I've been thinking a lot about blowjobs lately. I think guys like them more because it's a sort of power trip. I mean there's several ways a girl can get a guy off but I guess some men prefer the woman on her knees. I think 69 is the best thing that has come along with feminism. I had a dream that I was going around a BMW car lot with a chainsaw ripping up the interiors and such. I was arrested and forced to live in exile on a tropical island. I end up getting killed by monkeys. I can't understand it but I know you planned it. I'm out and I'm goin on and on. I like the way people kiss, except when they swallow my face. I like the cute lil tongue with a smupch. Just nice and intimate, not porno. I hate feeling like a girl is trying to remove my tonsils with her tongue. Today I hate all my friends, the more they want me, the more I hate them, I just want to be alone. No, wait, I just want to be held. For a long time. I dunno. That sounds really gay but that's the way I feel. Beastie Boys in the back ground, but its the old school shit. I made a stupid picture and a cartoon... here they are:
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| 06/17/01 | "I hope you choke on the fruits of society that you so greedily gorge yourself with." | ||
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I'm
really fucking horny. I'm so horny it's aggravating.
This weekend was cool. I went to a party. Talked to some girls about sexual preferences. Restrained from cheating from doing something like cheating on my girlfriend because she's fucking amazing. Then some stole the hostesses $6000 laptop. The party ended way too soon. I have received many great things this week. Incesticide by Nirvana and numerous Beastie Boys cd's. The most amazing thing I got this week was a 1976 Honda C200B Turbo Twin. I have no idea what that means. I am slowly learning how to repair it. Today I got it to start. Its really great because it has no muffler. Lol. Nice and noisy. Now all I need is a job, a license, insurance, and a new spark plug. Me and my friends revisited an old baseball stadium that we used to goto when we were younger. How did we get in? Well you see, enough booze, a little ambition and a sledge hammer can bust a nice little hole through the scoreboard. It was really cool being on the field and running the bases in some sort of angelic alcoholic haze. But then the cops came. Lol. It's ok, we got away... some how. Ouija is real. It's really interesting. It's really dangerous. It's really addictive. It's really only used to make trouble. And then when you go home and as soon as you hit your mattress there is a big ass lightening storm. I'm not the same person I used to be. Well, not the same as when I started this year. I'm someone different every year. Maybe that's why youth seem so confused through high school. Change is good right? I seem to be a nicer guy. Yeah, nice guys finish last but hey, at least we won't leave a woman unsatisfied in bed... I mean if we really do finish last. And on another note, if you are a single gay male of any age, please stop e-mailing me and telling me I'm a cutie. I mean that's really great to know but when I start getting naked pictures it's just gone to far. I wouldn't mind boobies though. Boobies are nice. I love boobies. They are just so geometrically designed by nature. They are always different. So are the nipples. If you send me pictures of boobies I will post them up. So send me your boobies. Don't be selfish, I mean c'mon, share the wealth, us guys don't have much in the way of naturally beautiful biological architecture. So once again, feel free to publicize your boobies. |
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| 06/16/01 | "Issues" | ||
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I'm
afraid to do anything with her. Anything entails 2nd-3rd
base stuff. I don't know why. I usually get more comfortable
after the first date. Maybe it's because her friends or
parents are always are around. Maybe this is just so that I
can get to know her before I go too far.
I can't believe it. Somebody thinks I'm good looking and it's not one of those sympathetic, "You're a handsome boy" comments from mom. These are genuine from the mouths of teenage girls. This is cool. Yeah I got my pills going on, and yeah I have a little more esteem but how the fuck does someone love them self? I haven't updated lately because of all the school finals which can lick my ass. On another note, in an attempt to get me to spend more time with my dad and to motivate me to get my driver's license my parents got me a beat up 1976 Honda 200CC Turbo motorcycle. I just wish they'd let me pay them back for it. Then again, fixing it will take lots of money. Did you know that you like the songs you like because you're programmed to? It's true. Radio stations like CFOX get paid by record companies to have their artists on the stations playlist which consists of 150 songs. Repetition = brain washing. Support your local Indy or Pirate radio station. I sure hope I don't end up like Stile, 20 something jerking off in my mom's basement for a living. Sounds pretty fucked up. I write senseless shit but at least I don't use sex to attract viewers. But then again this is a nonprofit site. Whatever. bleh.
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06/04/01 |
"The pure nature of music and poetry has been fouled by the foulest perpetrators." |
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The
Smashing Pumpkins. They're a band that has been around for
about twelve years. They broke up a year ago. I did not get
to see their last performance. I regret that. Today I found
out that "Machina" was not their last album, The
Pumpkins actually released a new album titled "Machina
II" to about 25 individuals who devoted their time to
The Smashing Pumpkins online. This album was never repressed
or released on CD, it was only released on 25 vinyl LP's or
records. The instructions to the recipients of these albums
was to release it to the rest of the world. Why would the
Pumpkins simply give away their last album? Because they are
true musicians who hate their label (Virgin Records, the
creator of more than just a few manufactured bands) that
originally suppressed their creative freedom. It was also a
gift to the fans. I have taken the liberty of getting
several links of places where you may find many of The
Smashing Pumpkins' songs. Fuck authority and the labels,
free music shall prevail. So with no more hesitation, this
is my tribute to possibly the greatest band that has ever
existed:
http://nspaa.student.utwente.nl
http://www.accnorwalk.com/~stoneham/sp.htm
http://www.netpluscom.com/~ppadgett/mp3.htm There's also an article I read and liked that I found on a site called Dogmatic Law. I suggest you read it. Kill The Ravers
I think we all know the kind of ravers I'm talking about. The kind who take webcam images of themselves rolling and post them on the web as if they are almost actually proud of them. The kind who will gleefully name every type of extacy ever made, in alphabetical order, on command. The kind who wear pants that, if you were to actually attempt murder upon one by throwing them off of a high place, they would most likely just drift away in the wind. Unless they are a fat raver. Fat ravers tend to be a bit more annoying because they sweat more, thus emitting more odors than your stereotypical raver. I do not like your Stereotypical Raver child (c)--And let's be honest again, most of you are under age children who have no clue about the real world (Note: The real world is not like Candy Land). The girls dress like Care Bears on crack - overly large clothes, zealous hair color (nobody likes your hair color, by the way. It looks like colorful grease and it is fading.), gawdy jewelry (this includes candy jewelry, for journalistic purpouses) The guys dress the same, of course. Apparantly, it is okay to be a fag if you are a raver. Perhaps this is why I am not comfortable with the scene - I do not want any guys hand on my back when I know he's been ramming into candy ass's... uh... ass. But this is about ravers. They drop tons of extasy and then wonder why they're so goddamn forgetful. Here's a hint: It's not because mommy dropped you on your head, as she should have. Or, if they're REALLY fucking moronic, they suck the helium out of balloons and pass out. Wow! Fuck piano lessons! Fuck funded education! I'm all about putting my lips on some rubber and sucking! Hey ravers! Practice enough and maybe YOU can make an occupation out of it! Their friends than have to explain to passed-out girl's parents that this RARELY ever happens at raves, we didn't know she was LIKE this (a drug-skank), hell, we're only fifteen! Don't blame us! Blame are parents! The same parents who watch over us so well that they don't even notice we're at an illegal party until 10 the next morning! A side note: If you are a minor and your parents never notice where you are for hours on end, it is because they hate you; probably because you are a drug-hopped little shithead. We could only be so lucky to if they were all to die of drug overdoses. though. Because sometimes you meet the OTHER kind of ravers. The Peace, Love, Unity, Respect, Let's Go Listen To Some Shit Ass Keoki, Ravers. The kind who are your best girl friends because they "totally share your vibe", yet do not hesitate to fuck your boyfriend behind you back. Ravers often do things like this because they are young. I mean face it, all you Sparkles and Bubbles out there. You are clinging to childhood. You have no morals because you are a baby (or high). You have no coping skills. You are a teenage waste. Oh, but it wasn't YOUR fault was it, Sparkle, I mean HELL! You were all jacked up on Extasy - you had to give SOMEONE a massage. Which turns into a kiss. Which turns into drug induced sex. Which turns into another pregnant mommy (who can't remember daddy's name--Hey, she was high!) and another fucked up child. The circle starts again. Ravers. Kandy Kids. Dorks. you're not doing anything new or special. You're a bunch of glorified hippies. And at least the hippies were protesting SOMETHING. Hint: If you listen to all techno yet think you aren't a raver, do not fear! You're not a raver! Your a nerd whom everyone fears but acts nice to because you are a perfect model for the next Eric Harris action figure.
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06/03/01 |
"My main bitch is mother nature." |
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I just saw a movie called Basketball Diaries on the weekend. It was a horrible movie that showed some sort of moral importance. I also saw some movie on showcase called Sex, Lies, and Videotape. It was brilliant. So pure, so human, so revealing emotionally. Faggot. I used to be a little boy. I used to be a lot of things. But right now, nothing is for sure, I am still being made, a work in progress. Maybe all of you shouldn't be confused with what is going on. You're just being molded inside and out. I don't care. I just wish I'd solidify. Dammit. The prozac is working beautifully! The headaches, farting, nausea, tiredness is gone now. Stupid side effects. I need to get a job. Oh shit. Oh well. Oh hell. I won't be long. We won't be long. That's pretty much it for this update. I miss my fucking stereo. Here's some pictures you may have not seen.
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