So lets talk about angry shall we?

Today me and my mom were in the car and we drove by a PT Cruiser. My mom turns and says to me "Ooooh a PT Cruiser!" with the same sort of excitement I use when talking about helping third world countries. I do not appreciate rich assholes. I do however put up with rich stupid assholes. Those are assholes that don't know they're assholes. Rich stupid assholes are the type of asshole that never stops to consider helping people that can't help being at a social disadvantage (People in Tibet, Africa) when they go out to buy a luxury sedan or sports car. They're stupid, they can't help it. And then there's the rich asshole who knows they could help others but don't. This type of people I have no respect for. 

How can someone go out on a religious mission to enforce Christianity on a foreign culture but not donate money to help these people in poverty? It would help a lot more to spread the word of god by doing something in his name. For example, get a couple of doctors and a few crates of supplies and send them somewhere far off to help others less fortunate. The airfare to Mexico if saved would probably contribute to an organization such as this. This is why I can't be a part of something like Christianity. They go off into an indigenous place with indigenous peoples but they're only there to give them bibles, not medicine or food.

Then again, I still have to give credit to the churches that do help by sending out medical supplies. But how can someone be part of a religion that came to Canada, set up schools for aborigine children, and then raped the children inside the schools? I won't associate myself with a history like that or people like that. Don't fucking tell me all sins are forgiven, that's just a stupid justification. I'm not anti-Christ, I'm just anti-religion and anti-association. 

I had a dream I was telekinetic. I was also setting stuff on fire. It was so real. Dammit, I wish it was possible. Oh yeah, I got my learners permit which means I can legally learn to drive in the city. 

I miss my girlfriend. I miss my best friend. I guess I miss everything about her. Yeah, it was just a week but now that I've realized she's more than just a girlfriend, she's my best friend. I guess its mainly because she doesn't tell everyone everything we talk about. Then again, my conversations are trivial and unmemorable. Oh yeah, and she is ASS HOT.

It's 12AM, I have to clean up my house tomorrow because the parentals are coming back from their 2 week trip. I wonder how many people are reading this shit. I'm gonna put my ugly counter back up. l8er.

These are the best years of my life? Fuck. Then what is to come and what is to be expected for the future. It seems as though a swampy fog has rolled over any ambitions I once had. What if Buddhist monks are only Buddhist monks because they don't have any goals in life? I wonder if that is the case and if those monks realize it. That seems like a nice lifestyle, meditate and philosophize. Maybe I just don't look forward to the endless years ahead of me that will be spent in an institution that teaches people to press buttons like monkeys. An institute where your image and your ass kissing does count for something. These years ahead seem somewhat pointless. I'm afraid however that if I truly was serious about living in the wilderness I'd still have to purchase the land to live off of. In order to do that I'd need capita and a job for a while. In order to make enough capita I'd need a secondary education. I can't avoid working hard. The truth is that with or without goals, you'll have to struggle to get money and learn throughout life. It's either that or the street. I don't want the street and end up with a mind built around chemical walls. I can't avoid the thing that our society defines as "work". I must accept my defeat and go on to make some sort of stupid life plan which I probably won't follow.

I've got a great girlfriend. She pretends to understand me, tries to understand me, or actually does. She really quite beautiful. She has the best hair. Her eyes are a fudge color. Her skin is satin. Her personality is what makes it all come together about her. To me, she is one, she knows what she wants. I really do hope its me. 

The inevitability of splitting up in relationships always hits me very strong after the first month or so. People my age are destined to split up. Even if she or he is Mr. Right you won't realize till you two are apart, by then its hopeless to patch things up. So why do we go through the constant cycle of meet, love, breakup, die a little? The truth for me is that its makes us stronger. Unfortunately though, we tend to build up walls around our tender side. These walls can collapse depending on weither you feel you can handle being hurt. I've chosen to drop whatever defensive barriers and accept that yes, someday, me and my girlfriend will split up and it probably will kill me inside. But the thing is, the soft stuff regenerates for most of us when we spend time with our friends even though we may not notice it. Spend time with your friends, don't try to pry or comfort them but don't suffocate them completely either. 

Women talk about how men never talk to them about how they feel. Neither do women. Maybe that's why breakups can be so unpredictable. I promise from this day on that if I start looking at other women or if I get bored with a girl I'll tell her which may be a bad thing but could also be a good thing. Some things can be avoided so lets see which things can. I'm tired, I haven't slept for the last day and I can barely tell which day of the week it is. My grammar is flawed, my meaning is raw. Disregard anything offensive in this update as one big self loathing brain fart. This relationship paranoia thing better pass, I think it may already have started to.

Yesterday a preppy loser wearing a Hawaiian pattern button up t-shirt started hitting on my friend Krista. She was all uncomfortable so she told the guy to leave. He came back and my friend Dave told the guy that he liked Krista just so the guy would piss off. The guy was too drunk to let is go so he hit the sandwich that Dave was eating out of his hand. It flew and hit me. There were four of me and my friends there. The amount of preppies there would've been about 6-8 and they had cars of course. I hate it when you have to let things go. It could have been worse. They guy behind the counter of the Subway restaurant we were in told us afterwards that the preppy was holding a piece. That was definitely the wrong night to go out for a snack at 3AM. The title of the update is just a small vent of the anger I hold inside. What can you do... fuck.

Click picture to enlarge.

My girlfriend says she looks bad in pictures. I look worse than she does.

Well what can I say? My girlfriend is the best one I've had. I mean we don't have much time to be intimate because her parents don't trust us. And I guess they shouldn't. 

At the end of the summer I'm getting a job building a log cabin for $25 an hour. That's in Canadian though. I'll hopefully be getting my motorcycle learners soon. I've got the bike's brake fixed up and the mufflers are almost done...

I've been home alone for 1.5 days now. This is really great... its so cold at night.

I had to go grocery shopping today which was weird. I also seem to go on cleaning binges when my parents aren't here. I like this home alone thing. I really do.

PS. The archives will be organized somewhat and posted tomorrow night.