08/31/01 "Something inside of me has opened up inside, sometimes I feel like I could burn this whole world down."
  Well I'm single again but I'd prefer calling it one. Single sounds like something within some manufactured product. Talking about manufactured, I went to the mall today, sometimes I'm glad that I'm not the only white trash person that looks like he has gonorrhea on his/her face. If you're ever feeling down, goto to the mall alone for some insignificant hygiene product. It seems to me that its always good to judge people to make yourself feel better. If you look at a person in public and judge them without talking to them it's always easier to go ahead and assume that they're worse of a person than you are. Hey, I know judging people you don't know is low but if they don't know about there's no harm done.

I got cable internet installed and we all know what that means, porno! Well at least in my case. No wait, music, games, then porno. Yeah. I finished doing the West Coast Trail. It was pretty so I took some pictures. I also dressed up as a woman for my ex and she took pictures of me humping and eating  out my friend. What else can I say? I dunno, fuck you for judging me? Lol. 

Music to listen to:

The Pixies - Wave of Mutilation

Weezer - My Name Is Jonas

The Police - Do do do da da da

 
   
08/15/01 Without irony, angst, and people like me, life would be a summer Christian camp.
  So I get this brochure in the mail today trying to convince me to pay $100 to go to a Christian camp for two days. All they want to do is bring kids closer to "god" and farther away from their selves and home. 8087477 Yeah, I've been there done that, but really, who gives a fuck. The churches are benefiting more than the campers are. There's always a few campers that totally buy into the whole religious thing and end up going to church on Sundays, this is the same church that justified several horrible happenings in the Medieval ages.

My mom's friend was in a Japanese prison for three years for drug trafficing. She came back yesterday from Japan and my mom invites her to live with us until she gets her feet back on the ground. This woman used to weigh a little over 300lbs, she now weighs 100-120lbs. I'm living with an ex convict. This means no fear, stay clear. Turn around turn around applause.

So I've been all confused in my head and in my heart lately. I don't know what I want to do with my relationship. I feel that I should end it but I don't know why. I know it'll hurt us both, so when I go away tomorrow to do a hike on something called the west coast trail I'll be thinking about it. I was over at her house yesterday and she read my future to me using her tarot cards. It said I'm going to recieve a message and that I'll benefit from it. There was also some bad stuff it said. Then I told her to read her own. It basically said what I thought it would say, that there's a bad moon on the rise. When its over....  we'll both have known that it was doomed to end. Gail is someone I could see myself with when I'm 40, but not now. I feel like shit.

I made a wallpaper, those of you that are interested in downloading it (170kb) click here.
   
08/10/01 "C'mon man! It's hermaphroditic porn! Fuck Caitlin!"
  Bing, idea. I am going to do something that may be damaging to me and my girlfriends relationship as well as my health. I'm going to make a page that will show people who think that I am hot. I've run out of things to raise my esteem. I have also run out of things to brag about. 

The past week I upgraded my system. I now have a Athlon 1.3 Ghz processor, Hercules GeForce 2 MX-400 32MB 3d Card, 256MB of SDRAM, SoundBlaster Live! Value, and a 10mB Network card.

My eyes are dry. I've been residing at my dad's house for over a week, school's almost here, yes that's right. Grade twelve. Urg. Lets see where I'm going. When I'm at my dad's house I feel like  sweatshop worker. Today I painted my stepsisters new house, built 2 computers, and drove a little bit. Phoning people back is seeming more and more like  chore, I guess that's when you figure out that you actually have friends of some sort. I'm not saying they're good friends but at least I have them. Music is making me sick. It has always been manufactured. I have to stop pretending that at one time it really wasn't. I wanna be a rock star so that I can die. Bleh. Oops forgot to take the prozac this week. The top ten reasons to die: Taxes, Medi-Care, Dental Care, School, Work, Love, Aches, Capitalism, Nsync, and all the other little things that kill. The top ten reasons not to die: Mom, Dad, my sisters, Jen, Peter, Sean, Gail, My potential, this site cause someone has to make updates that nobody reads, and REM.

My webcam drivers haven't been installed cause I don't have them. What this means is no webcam for 2 days. My penis has trouble getting hard and that's when you really know you're more different than any other 17 year old boy. Be my be my be my Yoko Ono.

The people that think I'm hot page will be up soon. It'll be great I promise.